London - Toto

Q. Where do you go for a discreet lunch time affair?

A. A quiet Italian restaurant on posh Walton Street, SW3.

Well that’s what the couple in the corner seemed to be doing.

When we arrived there was a dark suited American gentleman, in his mid fifties, sitting by a table in the corner, and another couple on a table in the middle of the floor. As most restaurants aim to make their dining rooms seem busy when they’re empty, we presumed the couple in the centre had been seated by the maitre’d, unlike the man checking his timepiece, whilst glancing towards the door.

Toto has a stunning small garden which is a very popular dining venue when the sun shines. Sadly, the day we went, the weather was inclement and the garden was closed. If you do visit Toto, do so on a warm day and make sure you request the garden.

The camel’s companion ordered a pre lunch glass of champagne, probably inspired by the gent in the corner,  who also ordered one glass of champagne. It arrived and was placed in waiting for his guest, who duly entered, as if on cue.

Now call us old gossips, but dining out is as much about fellow patrons as it is about the food and ambience. As the slim, forty something blonde strutted towards the table, Mr America rose, like an over anxious college boy on a first date, and growled

 “Hey Babes”.

Dressed in a safe Saks suit and tie, he reminded me of the American Embassy crew who frequent Cipriani in Mayfair.

Our starters arrived. The cold sesame seed tuna accompanied by bland warm vegetables was as bizarre a dish as I can recall being served. It simply did not work. What was the chef thinking of?

Moving on, the crab linguine with spring onion and basil al dente was very good, as was the duck. Starters ranged from £9 to £14, Pasta dishes were around £16 and main courses averaged £25. A choice of decent wines by the glass was also appreciated.

The waiting staff were very attentive. There were so many, it was difficult to understand how the restaurant remained viable. Like most Italian restaurants, the waiters seemed to have worked there forever. Perhaps, they were all family.

The décor of Toto’s is tired. Yellow and blue, with purple / blue orchids on the tables, which are large and round. Much better than sitting opposite each other, either side of a small square one. This place has charm, despite the need for refurbishment, although I suspect it is better for lunch than dinner, and is in complete contrast to Scalini, almost next door, which is all together more modern and not at all intimate.

Left for a few moments, alone, whilst this camel’s companion visited the ladies room, I, probably very unsubtly, turned my eyes towards the corner. Her hand slid past the orchid centre piece. I doubted the wedding ring was his. As they moved closer, I was transfixed.

No they can’t!

Shock smacked me in the chops, like a slobbering wet fish, as she lunged at him with unrestrained gusto.

Thank God we passed on the calamari salad.

 
Toto
Walton House
Walton Street
SW3

+44 207 589 2062